Free Exploration
by Ritsu Orihara
Summary: Timeless moments between the boys of the Free! Cast. Sometimes, it's better to just let time flow, sometimes, it's better to let time still and remember those we have lost. And then there are times when you realize that you need to re-sort your priorities. Whatever the case is, it's better to cherish than to forget. Grouped Oneshots.
1. Chapter 1

Haruka is nothing like the sun. Makoto knows that too well, and yet, it doesn't stop him from looking up to the navy blue haired male. Sometimes he wonders why he stares (as he would call it "parental guidance" or whatever supposedly it entails) and he doesn't stop to question his actions. Maybe it is the fact that Haruka naturally draws people in. His passive behaviour about life (life, life and nothing related to water or Rin for that matter) is a little too passive for a high school student, but his way about doing things, especially when it comes to swimming, supposedly makes people admire him. Haruka is, well, all there is to a great swimmer. Actually, scratch that, Haruka is a brilliant swimmer, and that's all there is to it. And Makoto doesn't really know what made him so modest and meek, but that's all part of the package that came with the freestylist, and thus, he accepts itaru wholeheartedly.

Even if his feelings of admiration isn't exactly reciprocated in any way. Because that's Haruka, and he's Makoto. Two red lines never meant to cross in any way other than being best friends. Sometimes it makes him concerned, and sometimes he learns to live with the fact that Haruka will never care about Makoto the same way as Makoto would him. Sometimes it hurts, sometimes...well, he learns to cope with the lonesome feeling because seeing a smile on Haruka's face is worth more than a thousand kisses.

That's what he tells himself every night.

And that's all there is to it.

Makoto is nothing like a fish. Haruka notices, and it makes him think. Why exactly did Makoto take up swimming in the first place. It makes him wonder, but he decides that probably, the one strength that Makoto has over everyone else is his backstroke. The powerful yet graceful swing of the arm makes his heart sway. Haruka doesn't say anything when he sees Makoto swim, and he never does. There is a silent connection between the two of them, and really, he doesn't need to say a thing. Makoto just knows. He wonders sometimes that if he can do the same style as neatly as Makoto's. But when it comes down, Makoto always tells him that the happiest he's been is when Haruka swims for himself.

Haruka gradually learns to accept that. Even if he has to override the feeling of loneliness he feels when he sees Makoto swim so elegantly in the water, the full swing of the arms echoing in his mind. He wants to say it, but he's afraid. He will never be on the same level as Makoto, and the beauty is astounding. He can only admire. It's strange, actually, how much he wants to be like Makoto. Yet the idea of the inapproachable male makes his heart quiver uncontrollably. It scares him. So he stays away. To him, Makoto is his idol. Look, but no touching.

That's what he tells himself every night.

And that's all there is to it.


	2. Chapter 2

Makoto hates the water. That's almost a given fact. He doesn't really know why he bothers with sticking to the water so closely, but he does. Every time he dives into the pool, his heartbeat races—not of excitement, but fear. Fear that something will happen again, like it did years ago. He hates the water not because of some previously established thread, but because of fear. He fears the water only because it will end up consuming him, like it did before.

He doesn't say it, but he's deathly afraid of repeating the same incident when he was younger. He learns to be cautious, and hence, the backstroke. He keeps his face up, out of the water—it's a sign of hope, some kind of salvation for him in case anything happened again.

Seeing Rei jump in headfirst that one time made his heart stop. It reminded him of himself. A little too much. And when Haruka dived in to save the younger male, he felt relief.

Makoto wants to reconcile, but somehow, that barrier gets in the way. Ever since his near-death experience with water, he vowed never to touch a single body of water. Yet, when Haruka persuaded him to swim again, and taught him to accept the water's presence, he leaned to cope with survival. He knew how to swim from a young age, but somehow, learning the ferocity of the water and its torrents, the open sea and its vicious cycles, Makoto understands that perhaps, Haruka is more accepting to water than he is. He understands that properly now—Haruka is like a fish. Makoto will never be because he will never accept and break through the barrier of fear.

Because he had died once.

Or he would have, if Haruka didn't dive in to save him at the last moment. That's all he heard, unfortunately, because since that moment, everything prior to that has been absolutely hazy, and no matter how many times he tries to remember, he can't. When he had cut off his oxygen supply that one time, and the delayed rescue had already decided the boy's fate.

Makoto had suffered severely because of that. The fear settled in for both their parents, especially Makoto's, because it was Makoto lying on the hospital bed, with the oxygen mask attached to the boy and not Haruka. Makoto was the one dying, not Haruka. It was Makoto's life, not anyone else's. So after ten days spent in the hospital, the green eyes fluttered open, and finally, the boy was brought back.

But it had only been temporary, because the first words he spoke was:

"Who are you?"

Perhaps it had been fate, because Haruka was there, right in front of him, and he doesn't know the name of his best friend. It was a cruel fate placed, and Haruka patiently told Makoto about his surroundings. All while holding in the worst feeling a friend could hold. _Bitter sadness_. His best friend had suffered from amnesia. The doctors said that the memory loss would be temporary, but pain instilled inside of Haruka would not fade.

Maybe he shouldn't have called Makoto out that day.

So, Makoto learned, the fear paralyzed the boy, causing him to miss much of his school year. He was told to repeat the year, and he agreed—it was for the best. That way, he would be together with Haruka. And Haruka felt guilt for the first time in his life.


End file.
